Our Eurovision Drinking Game has proven an extraordinarily popular annual tradition, so we’ve brought it back with updates for this year’s competition. The original was compiled by Eurovision super-fan Cathy Alexander, but Eurovision is a fast-evolving cultural beast, so it’s time for a rejig.
The first semi-final airs tonight at 7.30pm on SBS and the second semi-final airs at 7.30pm Saturday. This year, the Grand Final is airing live at 5am on Sunday morning (and if you get up that early, you’ll be able to vote!), but there’ll be an encore screening at the more respectable time of 7.30pm.
If you’re lucky enough to know people with excellent taste in pop music, get a big group around to your place and hold your own Eurovision party for Sunday’s Final. This game is a lot more fun with friends, after all (but we certainly wouldn’t judge if you were to play alone).
Use of oversized props: it’s hard to miss that giant parachute/hamster wheel/trampoline. The moment the prop is used, drink.
“The bride”: if anyone is in all white, including man-brides, you skol. And if there are two brides on stage, remove a garment. Better dress warm …
The classic key change: drain your glass. If you’re feeling frisky, why not try for that high note yourself?
“Nul points”: it’s every entrant’s worst nightmare, so the least you can do is drink in sympathy every time the hosts mention “nul points”.
Lee Lin Win: Lee Lin Chin is returning to read out Australia’s votes for her third year. As the consummate professional, she’ll be sure to keep things snappy and very, very glamorous. If Lee Lin appears in an outfit (hopefully asymmetrical) that rivals any of the contestants’, drink the Chin’s favourite alcoholic beverage: a cold beer. It’s the only suitable tribute.
The lazy Susan: any use of an on-stage revolve (hello, Australia) requires a drink. If you want to challenge yourself, get up and have a little twirl as you drink. If any contestant falls off their revolve, call it a night.
You’ve got wind: it’s being said that wind machines are back this year! (Although we’d argue they never truly went away.) Take a small sip for every tasteful use of a wind machine.
Australia wins: we’re still not completely over the disappointment of last year’s competition. Dami Im won the most votes from professional music juries around the world, but was narrowly beaten in the popular vote for her spectacular performance of Sound of Silence. She really is Australia’s own Hillary Clinton. Our entrant this year, Isaiah Firebrace, doesn’t have quite as strong odds coming into the competition, but the teen idol may just win over all of Europe with his soulful voice and eyebrows.
Australia 2 wins: in case you hadn’t heard, Australia has two entries this year. Kind of. Australian singer Anja Nissen, who won The Voice Australia, is Denmark’s contestant. Her song, Where I Am, was even written by an Australian team. It’s difficult to know if we should feel betrayed or proud of her success.
TEAM-BASED DRINKING REGIME
Marshalls, divide your audience into teams and give each team one or two of these little numbers. Each team has to drink every time their event happens.
1. If you couldn’t locate this country on a map, or thought it was made up, take a sip (be honest now).
2. The use of hair as a prop, or as part of a choreographed dance routine. Keep an eye out in the first semifinal for that one …
3. Lead singer points at the camera, reaches for the stars or does similar one-armed gesture. Please drink, then imitate said gesture.
4. “The toilet break”: the moment you decide this ballad is really dull, take a sip and sit back.
5. “What the …?” if a chorus is sung in a non-English language, wet your whistle.
6. Creative/zany use of drums. Believe me, it’s coming.
7. Use of indigenous/ethnic dress or instrument.
8. Baking or cake reference. Yes, really.
9. The classic reveal. As someone on stage whips off a garment, take a slug.